Some Friendly Advice...

Ok..for those who don't know I was a waitress and bartender for a few years. If you've never had a job like that before, today is your lucky day. Why? cause you're gonna get dining tips from someone who knows. SO...without further ado (and in no particular order although number one is really the most annoying)....

1. We do have a NAME. "Pssst" or snapping fingers is unsufficient, as well as disrespectful to your fellow human being. If you pay attention, you'll probably hear us introduce ourself. (And if you don't pay attention to someone's name at least pay attention to what the person looks like-So many people think I am the person taking care of them when I was on the other side of the restaurant or behind the bar!!)

2. DO tip your server AT LEAST 15% (10% is not sufficient anymore folks and if they do a really excellent job of taking care of you why not bump it up to 20%???-Which is conincidentally the percentage that most people in the business START at tiping a server/bartender). If you pay a teensy bit of attention to what they're doing, you may notice that they have a bunch of other tables who think that they are the only table the same waiter/bartender is taking care of. So please, if you could just calmly wait just another minute for your friggen extra slice of lemon with your water or your extra mayonaise, you AND your waiter/bartender will be able to give you a more pleasurable dining experience.

3. If you have children, this pertains to YOU. Kids can be sweet and cute (I love them don't get me wrong--I am a teacher after all). And ok, i'm prepared to think that by throwing my sugar caddy all over the table means that they're learning the colors pink, blue and white, or being picaso with the crayons and coloring book provided for them, that's fine. I'm happy you are a good teacher. But please, clean up after your kids AND note that neither the table nor the windows are for drawing on--that's why we gave you that coloring booklet! The restaurant is not a day care center, and I don't always have the time to clean up the tornado known as your kids mess that is left behind. (Don't worry I don't need a reminder of who you guys are!)

4. If you're allergic to a bunch of things on the menu, calmly explain the situation to your server. You have NO idea how much the cooks hate it when you add this, take this out, substitute this. It especially sucks after the modifications are sent through the computer and you have forgotten to tell the person that you're allergic and wouldn't you know it the food you ordered is full of that ingredient! (So not only do we have to deal with a shitty tip if it doesn't come out the way you ordered it but we also have to deal with the cooks being pissed at us-and yes they cook our food too thank you!) Stay home and cook an allergy-free meal and save money at the same time. The wonders never cease.

5. Going out with a bunch of friends is fine and dandy. I enjoy it myself. However, when you start hearing crickets outside, the music is off, the lights have turned on brightly, and there is NO ONE ELSE in the restaurant but you guys, (and the people that work there who are waiting for you to leave so they can leave and have a life too) it's time to move on. I like to call it a "bar"-open till very late (either 2 or 4 depending on what state you are in). As far as I know all bars make their business in that fashion of people sitting around talking and drinking and they don't mind you staying because well frankly the more you drink the more money they make. Try it, you and your party will probably enjoy yourselves.

6. A server/bartender is in a restaurant because he/she works there. If it was a singles joint, then come-ons and being called "sweetcakes," "baby," and "sugar" would be great. Otherwise, you're not helping and your certainly not getting anywhere so tip well and that will suffice. (We will appreciate the tip way more than the lame come-ons!)


Ok, i realize there's only 6 items here. I'm sure there's a ton more...if you have any to add please feel free....