I got this in an email and have yet to find someone who can defy it:
Left brain, right brain. This is pretty wild.
While sitting at your desk, lift your right foot off
the floor and make clockwise circles. Now, while
doing this, draw the number six in the air with your
right hand. Your foot will change direction and there
is nothing you can do about it!
Wednesday, April 27, 2005
Monday, April 25, 2005
What a Way to Go!
Three men were standing in line to get into heaven one day. Apparently it had been a pretty busy day, though, so Peter had to tell the first one, "Heaven's getting pretty close to full today, and I've been asked to admit only people who have had particularly horrible deaths.So what's your story?"
So the first man replies: "Well, for a while I've suspected my wife has been cheating on me, so today I came home early to try to catch her red-handed.As I came into my 25th floor apartment, I could tell something was wrong, but all my searching around didn't reveal where this other guy could have been hiding. Finally, I went out to the balcony, and sure enough, there was this man hanging off the railing, 25 floors above ground! By now I was really mad, so I started beating on him and kicking him, but wouldn't you know it, he wouldn't fall off. So finally I went back into my apartment and got a hammer and starting hammering on his fingers. Of course, he couldn't stand that for long, so he let go and fell -- but even after 25 stories, he fell into the bushes, stunned but okay. I couldn't stand it anymore, so I ran into the kitchen, grabbed the fridge and threw it over the edge where it landed on him, killing him instantly. But all the stress and anger got to me, and I had a heart attack and died there on the balcony."
"That sounds like a pretty bad day to me," said Peter, and let the man in.
The second man comes up and Peter explains to him about heaven being full, and again asks for his story.
"It's been a very strange day. You see, I live on the 26th floor of my apartment building, and every morning I do my exercises out on my balcony. Well, this morning I must have slipped or something, because I fell over the edge. But I got lucky, and caught the railing of the balcony on the floor below me. I knew I couldn't hang on for very long, when suddenly this man burst out onto the balcony. I thought for sure I was saved, when he started beating on me and kicking me. I held on the best I could until he ran into the apartment and grabbed a hammer and started pounding on my hands. Finally I just let go, but again I got lucky and fell into the bushes below, stunned but all right. Just when I was thinking I was going to be okay, this refrigerator comes falling out of the sky and crushes me instantly, and now I'm here."
Once again, Peter had to concede that that sounded like a pretty horrible death.
The third man came to the front of the line, and again the whole process was repeated. Peter explained that heaven was full and asked for his story.
"Picture this," says the third man, "I'm hiding naked inside a refrigerator..."
So the first man replies: "Well, for a while I've suspected my wife has been cheating on me, so today I came home early to try to catch her red-handed.As I came into my 25th floor apartment, I could tell something was wrong, but all my searching around didn't reveal where this other guy could have been hiding. Finally, I went out to the balcony, and sure enough, there was this man hanging off the railing, 25 floors above ground! By now I was really mad, so I started beating on him and kicking him, but wouldn't you know it, he wouldn't fall off. So finally I went back into my apartment and got a hammer and starting hammering on his fingers. Of course, he couldn't stand that for long, so he let go and fell -- but even after 25 stories, he fell into the bushes, stunned but okay. I couldn't stand it anymore, so I ran into the kitchen, grabbed the fridge and threw it over the edge where it landed on him, killing him instantly. But all the stress and anger got to me, and I had a heart attack and died there on the balcony."
"That sounds like a pretty bad day to me," said Peter, and let the man in.
The second man comes up and Peter explains to him about heaven being full, and again asks for his story.
"It's been a very strange day. You see, I live on the 26th floor of my apartment building, and every morning I do my exercises out on my balcony. Well, this morning I must have slipped or something, because I fell over the edge. But I got lucky, and caught the railing of the balcony on the floor below me. I knew I couldn't hang on for very long, when suddenly this man burst out onto the balcony. I thought for sure I was saved, when he started beating on me and kicking me. I held on the best I could until he ran into the apartment and grabbed a hammer and started pounding on my hands. Finally I just let go, but again I got lucky and fell into the bushes below, stunned but all right. Just when I was thinking I was going to be okay, this refrigerator comes falling out of the sky and crushes me instantly, and now I'm here."
Once again, Peter had to concede that that sounded like a pretty horrible death.
The third man came to the front of the line, and again the whole process was repeated. Peter explained that heaven was full and asked for his story.
"Picture this," says the third man, "I'm hiding naked inside a refrigerator..."
Saturday, April 23, 2005
How Normal Are You?
You Are 50% Normal (Somewhat Normal) |
 While some of your behavior is quite normal... Other things you do are downright strange You've got a little of your freak going on But you mostly keep your weirdness to yourself |
Friday, April 22, 2005
A Note...
...from a penis:
I, the penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons:
1. I do physical labor
2. I work at great depths
3. I plunge head first into everything I do
4. I do not get weekends off or public holidays
5. I work in a damp environment
6. I don't get paid overtime
7. I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation
8. I work in high temperatures
9. My work exposes me to contagious diseases
And a response...(you knew there had to be one!)
Dear Penis,
After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have raised, the administration rejects your request for the following reasons:
1. You do not work 8 hours straight
2. You fall asleep on the job after brief work period
3. You do not always follow the orders of the management team
4. You do not stay in your allocated position, and often visit other areas
5. You do not take initiative - you need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start working
6. You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift
7. You don't always observe necessary safety regulations, such as wearing the correct protective clothing
8. You'll retire well before reaching 65
9. You're unable to work double shifts
10. You sometimes leave your allocated position before you have completed the day's work. And if that were not all, you have been seen constantly entering and leaving the workplace carrying 2 suspicious looking bags.
Sincerely,
The Management
I, the penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons:
1. I do physical labor
2. I work at great depths
3. I plunge head first into everything I do
4. I do not get weekends off or public holidays
5. I work in a damp environment
6. I don't get paid overtime
7. I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation
8. I work in high temperatures
9. My work exposes me to contagious diseases
And a response...(you knew there had to be one!)
Dear Penis,
After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have raised, the administration rejects your request for the following reasons:
1. You do not work 8 hours straight
2. You fall asleep on the job after brief work period
3. You do not always follow the orders of the management team
4. You do not stay in your allocated position, and often visit other areas
5. You do not take initiative - you need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start working
6. You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift
7. You don't always observe necessary safety regulations, such as wearing the correct protective clothing
8. You'll retire well before reaching 65
9. You're unable to work double shifts
10. You sometimes leave your allocated position before you have completed the day's work. And if that were not all, you have been seen constantly entering and leaving the workplace carrying 2 suspicious looking bags.
Sincerely,
The Management
Wednesday, April 20, 2005
Top 10: If you got issues then........
think about the people in life that make you go "Who does that?!?!"
It is often times that people do things to make you wonder what the hell was going on in their mind. What were these people thinking? Who knows, for most they probably weren't sadly! The following is just a short list, feel free to help expand it in your comments!
10. The girl who spends 20 minutes in the locker room at the gym doing her hair, and THEN goes to work out!
9. People who stand in the middle of everyones way at a store where there is only one entrance/exit!
8. The guy that goes to the gym in jeans!
7. The girl that (anytime in life after high school) wants to celebrate every single monthly anniversary with you!
6. The guy that BELIEVES that cheesy pick-up lines always work on girls!
5. The girl that spackles (literally) on her makeup before she goes anywhere! (Then when you see her at the beach her face is melting!)
4. Guys who think girls want them to come up behind them at a club and grind all up on them!
3. Girls who try to fit into a size 2 when they are really a size 10!
2. Guys who think stalking a girl is sexy!
1. People who drive 10 miles an hour in the fast lane!
It is often times that people do things to make you wonder what the hell was going on in their mind. What were these people thinking? Who knows, for most they probably weren't sadly! The following is just a short list, feel free to help expand it in your comments!
10. The girl who spends 20 minutes in the locker room at the gym doing her hair, and THEN goes to work out!
9. People who stand in the middle of everyones way at a store where there is only one entrance/exit!
8. The guy that goes to the gym in jeans!
7. The girl that (anytime in life after high school) wants to celebrate every single monthly anniversary with you!
6. The guy that BELIEVES that cheesy pick-up lines always work on girls!
5. The girl that spackles (literally) on her makeup before she goes anywhere! (Then when you see her at the beach her face is melting!)
4. Guys who think girls want them to come up behind them at a club and grind all up on them!
3. Girls who try to fit into a size 2 when they are really a size 10!
2. Guys who think stalking a girl is sexy!
1. People who drive 10 miles an hour in the fast lane!
Wednesday, April 06, 2005
Wisdom and Age Hand in Hand?
An old wise man once said "With age comes wisdom," is that true? Do we truly learn from our mistakes or are some of us destined to repeat mistakes until we are so badly burned that we repell from situations?
I, for example, have learned from some mistakes and am probably destined to relive some other mistakes. Why? The simple answer that many people who know me well would agree with-I'm way too nice.
Instance 1:
Seems so long ago but in high school there was a girl, we'll call her psycho (there's an obvious reason for that name!). Psycho was a good friend who I hung out with and would come over to my house. My friends and I started noticing psycho wearing clothes of ours that we were missing. When we would casually ask her, she would deny it. Why? Beats the hell outta me because none of us were mad we were simply asking her.
So psycho ends up doing the unthinkable and stealing Mrs. C's beeper. OH NO NO! No one is to mess with the people I love. And if you think you can I say BRING IT ON! We figured out that Mrs. C's lost beeper and psychos "new" beeper were one in the same when we tested out the beeper and sent a random number to it which psycho did not recognize but we did. So we get back to school and we confront psycho about the beeper. She, of course, denies it so I proceed to go off on her! She starts crying and the next thing you know we're in the vice principal's office. It is there that he beeped the beeper and she was busted!
Not only was she busted but she lost all her friends since no one trusted her. A short time after that she asked me why? I simply said you can mess with me but not the ones I love.
Instance 2:
This story was not so long ago. A friend from work needed to borrow $200 for rent otherwise her husband, baby, and her would be thrown out. (oh yea her husband spent the rent money on drugs) Me, being the good person I am, lends her the money with the thought that she is going to turn her life around and straighten up for her and the baby's sake. Nope. So now I''m $200 short and she's still in the same situation. Did anything good come out of it? I guess the fact they didn't get kicked out is good but other than that the situation remains the same.
I did learn that if people aren't willing to help themselves that no matter how much help you give them it will make a difference.
So, has my aging caused me to get wiser? Is it just the once burned twice shy theory? Or will some things never change?
For those of you who really know me, I'd love to hear what you think...
I, for example, have learned from some mistakes and am probably destined to relive some other mistakes. Why? The simple answer that many people who know me well would agree with-I'm way too nice.
Instance 1:
Seems so long ago but in high school there was a girl, we'll call her psycho (there's an obvious reason for that name!). Psycho was a good friend who I hung out with and would come over to my house. My friends and I started noticing psycho wearing clothes of ours that we were missing. When we would casually ask her, she would deny it. Why? Beats the hell outta me because none of us were mad we were simply asking her.
So psycho ends up doing the unthinkable and stealing Mrs. C's beeper. OH NO NO! No one is to mess with the people I love. And if you think you can I say BRING IT ON! We figured out that Mrs. C's lost beeper and psychos "new" beeper were one in the same when we tested out the beeper and sent a random number to it which psycho did not recognize but we did. So we get back to school and we confront psycho about the beeper. She, of course, denies it so I proceed to go off on her! She starts crying and the next thing you know we're in the vice principal's office. It is there that he beeped the beeper and she was busted!
Not only was she busted but she lost all her friends since no one trusted her. A short time after that she asked me why? I simply said you can mess with me but not the ones I love.
Instance 2:
This story was not so long ago. A friend from work needed to borrow $200 for rent otherwise her husband, baby, and her would be thrown out. (oh yea her husband spent the rent money on drugs) Me, being the good person I am, lends her the money with the thought that she is going to turn her life around and straighten up for her and the baby's sake. Nope. So now I''m $200 short and she's still in the same situation. Did anything good come out of it? I guess the fact they didn't get kicked out is good but other than that the situation remains the same.
I did learn that if people aren't willing to help themselves that no matter how much help you give them it will make a difference.
So, has my aging caused me to get wiser? Is it just the once burned twice shy theory? Or will some things never change?
For those of you who really know me, I'd love to hear what you think...
Monday, April 04, 2005
Sanity?
So this is what happens when you take a test..whether it's true or not here's some insight into my mental disorders..lol.. thanks to "Mrs. C" for the link :o)
| Disorder | Rating |
| Paranoid Disorder: | Moderate |
| Schizoid Disorder: | Low |
| Schizotypal Disorder: | Low |
| Antisocial Disorder: | Low |
| Borderline Disorder: | Moderate |
| Histrionic Disorder: | High |
| Narcissistic Disorder: | Moderate |
| Avoidant Disorder: | Low |
| Dependent Disorder: | Moderate |
| Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder: | High |
-- Personality Disorder Test - Take It! -- | |
Friday, April 01, 2005
Fate?
Is fate something that truly exists or do people just hang onto the hope that certain things are fated to happen to give them solace?
To some degree I believe in fate. Now when I say to some degree that doesn't mean that everything in my life is already fated to happen. I still believe that although things happen for a reason, other things happen because of our decisions so we have an impact upon our own "fate."
Take for instance, the people in my life. I absolutely care for each of them and would be there for them in the blink of an eye if they needed me. Obviously some mean more to me than others but fate brought us together. After fate brought us together, it was our own decisions that made our relationship what it is.
Perfect example, after high school you tend to lose touch with everyone who you weren't really close to whether you mean to or not. Unfortunately, I lost touch with one of my best friends in my sophomore year of college. (Keep in mind that was 5 years ago). That was the last time I saw her-in New York City's Central Park, her with her ex and me with mine. I had kept her pager number but when I went to use it some time after it was no longer working. Being that the pager was the only way to get in touch with her, I lost her.
Back to the recent, my other best friend, who I mentioned in a previous blog as Mrs. C, calls me to tell me that she was on some high school website thing and my name was a post and that my best friend "Suzie," also mentioned in a previous blog, was looking for me. Mrs. C responded to Suzie and gave her my info. It wasn't long before we were talking again and catching up on the last five years (it's amazing how many things change in 5 years!!) While it was fate that Suzie and Mrs. C were both on the online high school site it was Suzie's decision to seek me out.
So what do you think? Is fate real or something we cling to?
P.S. I know this blog has gotten deeper in thought than I originally intended. Have no fear I'm sure I'll have many drunken and crazy stories as the weekend progresses :o).
To some degree I believe in fate. Now when I say to some degree that doesn't mean that everything in my life is already fated to happen. I still believe that although things happen for a reason, other things happen because of our decisions so we have an impact upon our own "fate."
Take for instance, the people in my life. I absolutely care for each of them and would be there for them in the blink of an eye if they needed me. Obviously some mean more to me than others but fate brought us together. After fate brought us together, it was our own decisions that made our relationship what it is.
Perfect example, after high school you tend to lose touch with everyone who you weren't really close to whether you mean to or not. Unfortunately, I lost touch with one of my best friends in my sophomore year of college. (Keep in mind that was 5 years ago). That was the last time I saw her-in New York City's Central Park, her with her ex and me with mine. I had kept her pager number but when I went to use it some time after it was no longer working. Being that the pager was the only way to get in touch with her, I lost her.
Back to the recent, my other best friend, who I mentioned in a previous blog as Mrs. C, calls me to tell me that she was on some high school website thing and my name was a post and that my best friend "Suzie," also mentioned in a previous blog, was looking for me. Mrs. C responded to Suzie and gave her my info. It wasn't long before we were talking again and catching up on the last five years (it's amazing how many things change in 5 years!!) While it was fate that Suzie and Mrs. C were both on the online high school site it was Suzie's decision to seek me out.
So what do you think? Is fate real or something we cling to?
P.S. I know this blog has gotten deeper in thought than I originally intended. Have no fear I'm sure I'll have many drunken and crazy stories as the weekend progresses :o).
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